I have never been a small handbag kind of person. I want to carry either nothing, or a bag that I can smuggle exotic animals in. (I don’t actually smuggle exotic animals in my bags. I just like to have the option.)

However, after an afternoon of poor decision making a few weeks ago henceforth referred to as the Ikea Incident, I have a strained back, injured leg, temporary reliance on a cane, and the strongly worded advice of both medical professionals and my husband to maybe, just maybe, carry around a lighter bag for a bit.